Friday, September 14, 2007

Moving and the issues it causes...

Moving... Well I'm moving into a new home. Sold the Brownstone & decided to say goodbye to Jose! I've picked a cute Jersey Shore community that actually is nice and not at all scummy. So in the process of switching utilities & emailing friends with my new address etc. I sent one to a friend/ex-whatever... He's just tough to forget about & mind you I am trying to be monogomous so him calling today and saying, "Oh we should get together Sunday" just doesn't help things. I have some weaknesses when it comes to this man. Let's forget that he makes Tommy Lee look like Tiny Tim (bad example?) & just go with his sheer maleness that puts me in a trance.... like climbing into bed with me at 7 am smelling all manly like oil & this smell that you would have to know to understand. Or after paintballing and being multi-colored and just coming by to say hello. Or that he's just so f-ing hot in every way. He lets me help fix the quad and we end up doing bad things in the garage. He's just THAT GUY. Take away the sexual manly stuff and he's still amazing. This may sound gay but he'll wear a faded pink Lacoste shirt and still look hot because he just don't care. He's secure in his manhood. Is that just a big dick thing? Flash back to high school when I was the senior chick and he was my freshman friend... I still wanted it & he was jail bait. He's cool. He listens. No judgements. Nothing. Until we pulled the long distance thing and he met someone and totally fucked me over. But before that- I was his one that got away and he was never afraid to say so. Whatever... where was I? Oh Sunday. He'll be all muddy and manly and wanting to see me knowing full damn well that there will be the usual issues of weakness and we both are seeing people. So the question is...to cheat or not to cheat? I can't have him full time & if I did, I would NEVER trust him. If he'll cheat with me, he'll cheat on me. BUT... I just want a little time with him. I miss my best friend but he's my weakness too.... I don't want to screw around on J.... but I do want to see T. Oh well...nobody reads this so I will have no feedback & will most likely screw up. Here's to hoping I make the right decision.... if I knew what that was!!!