Moving and the issues it causes...

Moving... Well I'm moving into a new home. Sold the Brownstone & decided to say goodbye to Jose! I've picked a cute Jersey Shore community that actually is nice and not at all scummy. So in the process of switching utilities & emailing friends with my new address etc. I sent one to a friend/ex-whatever... He's just tough to forget about & mind you I am trying to be monogomous so him calling today and saying, "Oh we should get together Sunday" just doesn't help things. I have some weaknesses when it comes to this man. Let's forget that he makes Tommy Lee look like Tiny Tim (bad example?) & just go with his sheer maleness that puts me in a trance.... like climbing into bed with me at 7 am smelling all manly like oil & this smell that you would have to know to understand. Or after paintballing and being multi-colored and just coming by to say hello. Or that he's just so f-ing hot in every way. He lets me help fix the quad and we end up doing bad things in the garage. He's just THAT GUY. Take away the sexual manly stuff and he's still amazing. This may sound gay but he'll wear a faded pink Lacoste shirt and still look hot because he just don't care. He's secure in his manhood. Is that just a big dick thing? Flash back to high school when I was the senior chick and he was my freshman friend... I still wanted it & he was jail bait. He's cool. He listens. No judgements. Nothing. Until we pulled the long distance thing and he met someone and totally fucked me over. But before that- I was his one that got away and he was never afraid to say so. Whatever... where was I? Oh Sunday. He'll be all muddy and manly and wanting to see me knowing full damn well that there will be the usual issues of weakness and we both are seeing people. So the question is...to cheat or not to cheat? I can't have him full time & if I did, I would NEVER trust him. If he'll cheat with me, he'll cheat on me. BUT... I just want a little time with him. I miss my best friend but he's my weakness too.... I don't want to screw around on J.... but I do want to see T. Oh well...nobody reads this so I will have no feedback & will most likely screw up. Here's to hoping I make the right decision.... if I knew what that was!!!

THE LIST

OK...I'm completely satisfied with the man in my bed, BUT there's always temptation. We have the real guys that we know (not ex sex) the untapped. The guys you know from everyday situations, like this one. He took on the Yukon, the Mississippi (picture), and the walked the entire Appalachian Trail for charity. All sponsored items & money were given to Cancer research & then the Yukon project funds went to Katrina charities. So mix that in with the fact that he's totally at one with nature, was a Royal Marine Commando, has that sexy British accent which makes most men at least 10% hotter. He's a great guy and an all around bad ass. Then we come to another real life piece of temptation (have I mentioned that I'm a recovering cheat? 11.5 months monogamous ). He's just hanging off the CN Tower in Toronto at about 1,800 ft. as is it's no big deal. Then you add his sexy climber body and wonderful sarcastic humor. Oh and he always calls me darlin' but he may do that with all the ladies since he's from Texas. He's been in the Northeast long enough to have dropped any heavy accent so it's 100% pure charm.

Then there's the celebrity list as discussed on Friends. I could never laminate that list.... this week it's these 5 guys but next week it could be different. Does this make me a commitment phobe? So here goes for now & if anyone reads this, please feel free to share your 5:

I'm pretty solid on #'s 1-4 but it's so difficult to put someone into that final space. (Could be why I'm still single or at least not married)

So let's kick this off....Today's list

#1 . Josh Hartnett. He looks pretty earnest, and he reminds me of my ex who is adorable and hung like an elephant.

#2. Jason Statham. He's British. He's Handsome Rob. He was basically dipped in oil in The Transporter and that was all I needed....

#3. Ryan Reynolds. Blade Trinity. The humor the chains & that cute little tattoo way down into his very low abdomen.

#4. Julian Mcmahon He plays Dr. Troy in Nip/Tuck & does so with such pure evil that I love it!

#5. This slot can't be filled.... I'm digging Channing Tatum these days. He's a bad actor but so damn sexy. Brad Pitt (pre Angelina) will always have a place in my heart after that Vanity Fair spread. I'm a bit "Team Aniston" but hey, you can't help who you love. If you try to fight it- well it is just a recipe for disaster.

Shall we get to the honorable mentions? Jack Johnson (Cute surfer boy singer, Olivier Martinez (Hello have you seen Unfaithful?), John Krasinski (love The Office), Patrick Dempsey (love those eyes), Will Kirby (reality TV Evil Dr. Will), Jason Lee (Pre-Earl), Wentworth Miller (sitting in his Converse all stars in the Mariah Carey video with those blue eyes...yeah that works. Is he really gay?), Ed Burns (esp. in She's the One), Harrison Ford (younger but not too young), Sean Connery (again, slightly older but not on his death bed)
The End (Brad's that is).....

WEEKEND PHOTOGRAPHY

I love to photograpgh the many places on J's body that look so yummy. I've started with these two because both make me so happy. The curves on his fine ass are almost just a blur but I find it necessary to capture them and post them here for myself. I know I will end up putting all those years of art school to use finally because I've found a subject that I am passionate about. This photo of the top of his ass really does it no justice. The ones from my cell have too many details that give him away & are too explicit...... not that anyone looks at my crappy little blog but I think I shall start taking requests for images should anyone ever make one. There's that cute butt I know and love -->

He always wants me to sketch him but I think I'm just going to continue to post random photos from naked Sundays instead. He's just too cute.

This is the same guy that I only ORIGINALLY wanted to sneak around with, use for some sex, and move on when he got clingy yet here I am ALMOST 1 YEAR LATER with my own personal ode to J. YES LADIES & GENTS, I'm whipped! It is that good and it's not just the sex. I actually asked permission to post him before I did so because I didn't want him to feel violated. I will continue to keep it less than X rated and keep the unique marks out of my photos to protect his privacy.

This next one is my favorite. I'm sharing this because I love his arms as well..... they are delicious. I just love it! We have the cutest kissy pic but I'll spare you all of that one. Poor J.... Yes, I am "Mrs. Robinson" and I've seduced you. We're moving in together so it should get even more fun!

Thanks for letting me be me & letting me love the way you look. BTW... Even though J has awareness of this blog & the photos on it, he's not allowed to visit. Sorry- we'll work something out on won't we? Yeah baby, I've been bad.... what'cha gonna do about it??? Surprise me! But please don't give me a surprise like you did that one time when I was in an Ambien haze....OK? That wasn't so much fun to wake up to....Let's keep it tight. Thanks!

NO WAY JOSE!

After my letter to Jose... I've noticed something else that disturbs me about His Homlessness...

Among the list of things he hates i.e. working, showering, shitting on a toilet, having an actual house that is not made of cardboard etc. he hates black people. He being a pretty useless fixture of my neighborhood is actually discriminating when it comes to getting a free meal, or drink, or whatever. I find this offensive. At first I didn't believe my not so great Spanish skills and asked my neighbor who is fluent in both Spanish and sucking dick....getting back to the point.

He provided me with a little social experiment if you will. He told me to watch when the neighborhood florist's boyfriend exited the store. Sure enough Jose starts cursing en Espanol and uttering the word "negro" which I took only to mean the color not the segregated label.

I don't know why I care but I do. I don't like Jose. He scares me. He should be on meds. He should be doing a bunch of things other than shouting racial slurs at people and standing next to the fax machine someone threw out as if it's his new office.

Hell I sit here at work, doing nothing besides reading the internet and blogging but at least I only discriminate against those lazier than me....like Jose...and my mom but that's different.

Ahhh fuck it.

CAN I GET A HUG?

This story was published at MSNBC & has got to be the tale of the dumbest would-be gunman on earth:

WASHINGTON - A grand feast of marinated steaks and jumbo shrimp was winding down, and a group of friends was sitting on the back patio of a Capitol Hill home, sipping red wine. Suddenly, a hooded man slid in through an open gate and put the barrel of a handgun to the head of a 14-year-old guest.
"Give me your money, or I'll start shooting," he demanded, according to D.C. police and witness accounts.
The five other guests, including the girls' parents, froze -- and then one spoke.
"We were just finishing dinner," Cristina "Cha Cha" Rowan, 43, blurted out. "Why don't you have a glass of wine with us?"
The intruder took a sip of their Chateau Malescot St-Exupéry and said, "Damn, that's good wine."
The girl's father, Michael Rabdau, 51, who described the harrowing evening in an interview, told the intruder, described as being in his 20s, to take the whole glass. Rowan offered him the bottle. The would-be robber, his hood now down, took another sip and had a bite of Camembert cheese that was on the table.
'Can I get a hug?'Then he tucked the gun into the pocket of his nylon sweatpants.
"I think I may have come to the wrong house," he said, looking around the patio of the home in the 1300 block of Constitution Avenue NE.
"I'm sorry," he told the group. "Can I get a hug?"
Rowan, who lives in Falls Church and works part time at her children's school, stood up and wrapped her arms around him. Then it was Rabdau's turn. Then his wife's. The other two guests complied.
"That's really good wine," the man said, taking another sip. He had a final request: "Can we have a group hug?"
The five adults surrounded him, arms out.
With that, the man walked out with a crystal wine glass in hand, filled with Chateau Malescot. No one was hurt, and nothing was stolen.
The homeowner, Xavier Cervera, 45, had gone out to walk his dog at the end of the party and missed the incident, which happened about midnight June 16. Police classified the case as strange but true and said they had not located a suspect.
"We believe it is a true robbery," said Cmdr. Diane Groomes, who is in charge of patrols in the Capitol Hill area. But it's one-of-a-kind, she said, adding, "I've never heard of a robber joining a party and then walking out to the sunset."
The hug, she said, was especially unusual. "They should have squeezed him and held onto him for us," she said.
Rabdau said he hasn't been able to figure out what happened.
"I was definitely expecting there would be some kind of casualty," Rabdau said this week. "He was very aggressive at first; then it turned into a love fest. I don't know what it was."
Was it the wine or the cheese?Rabdau, a federal government worker who lives in Anne Arundel County with his family and lived on Capitol Hill with his wife in the 1980s, said that the episode lasted about 10 minutes but seemed like an hour. He believes the guests were spared because they kept a positive attitude during the exchange.
"There was this degree of disbelief and terror at the same time," Rabdau said. "Then it miraculously just changed. His whole emotional tone turned -- like, we're one big happy family now. I thought: Was it the wine? Was it the cheese?"
After the intruder left, the guests walked inside the house, locked the door and stared at each other. They didn't say a word. Rabdau dialed 911. Police arrived quickly and took a report. They also dusted for fingerprints -- so far, to no avail.
In the alley behind the home, investigators found the intruder's empty crystal wine glass on the ground, unbroken.

HELLO LOVELY!

Y

NEW PHOTOS!

Kate--> You look so beautiful! I'm so happy to see that the crazy old geezer who plowed into your car didn't hurt you. Sorry that the car looks like you hit a short bus full of window lickers! Good luck with that sweetie! Can't wait to get the photos of you in that very hot wedding dress! I guess you aren't supposed to look too sexy as a bride but fuck it! You aren't one to give a damn about what people think anyway so rock it!

A LETTER TO MY LOCAL HOMELESS MAN

Dear Jose,
I understand that you are my neighborhood's resident homeless man but I have some issues. First, it's over 100 degrees outside- why are you wearing a fucking winter jacket? Don't you have a little space in your alley to store it? It isn't as if you are sharing the alley with other box dwellers. Next, I only give you money to keep you from shitting directly next to my car. It's nasty. That doesn't mean I want to shake your hand when I'm walking to and from my apartment. I purposely keeps my hands full so I don't have to be touched. At these times please do not touch my shoulder. Lastly, must you stand outside of my window screaming at every car and person who walks by you? If you must, could you do so in slower speaking spanish as I'm still learning? Mucho gracias. Consiga un trabajo.
All my best & a bar of Soap,
S.