What spreads faster than Paris Hilton's herpes?

No, not her legs (though it may be a close match!)

Seriously, I might be a Yankee bitch but I hope all of you in SoCal and those of you who have family there are doing well in spite of the wildfires. Contrary to popular belief, I don't believe that New York and the surrounding areas are the center of the Universe.

I was speaking to my co-workers about some fabric that was given to me this morning and a temp came up & asked me if I can believe how lucky I am. I said, "For free fabric?!?!?" He said, "No, that we aren't suffering the wildfire or flooding like Cali & New Orleans!" I then told him to pack up his shit and get out...just kidding... we all shared the sentiment & astonishment over the fact that the Santa Ana winds are gusting at 100 mph (according to our local news). I do hope that the winds let up so that the firefighters can kick some wildfire ass! Hang in there everyone! I'm thinking of you & will be following the news....

Sapa Vietnam Church & Ben

This is one of my faves. I took this in 1999 and always have a print hanging in my home & office. The scan is crap but I'm so in love with the photo. There's some that I took that were just amazing & I was still learning then so I had many happy accidents (What up Bob Ross!) I just love the clouds coming down onto the mountains and the rickety foot bridge.

There's some shots of lotus blossoms that I got that are almost surreal. Then I got one of these children shaking the outer shells of of rice grains and the dust coming off of the baskets they used. I just love it. I actually took one of the Brooklyn bridge when we were out on the water and it has been raining that day so there was a ton of condensation and fog obscuring the towers. I developed the film a week or two after 9/11 & it was eerie. I've never shared my work with people because I get shy. If it's for work, they take my cards and I don't have much say in what goes up so it's out of my hands. If it were up to me, they'd get so little that I'd be out of a job. I took some photos inside of Big Ben on a freelance assignment for my friend's company. I'll include that since it's available to me right now.

What a Week...

So the strangeness continues but
luckily didn't go too far!
This is a bit "em-bare-ass-ing" but
oh well! I woke up at 5-ish this
morning to J attempting to put
something of his where it just didn't belong.... HELLO!!! I'm up! He was sound asleep. I'm not sure whet led to it but I think we may not be sleeping naked after taking Ambien for a bit! Hell if that's not the icing on the cake that has been this week, I don't know what is!!! So TGIFF!! The move should be official this weekend & J- if you do that again I have a few power tools with your name on them baby! So hopefully it doesn't come to that because I was hoping to get all my stuff moved & maybe have time to get unpacked enough to bring my kitty to the new place by Sunday evening! I hope that everyone has a great weekend & that my week of WTF is nearly over!

WHAT THE FUCK?!?!?!?!?!

The past few days have been filled with things that have made me say WTF out loud!

Monday: I'm driving to work & I see a man trying to get his minivan jump started. This is not so unusual except that he's running around in his boxer shorts. Picture a very pasty, hairy, and chubby Jesus-looking dude in seriously thin pale tan boxers. I think he was wearing work boots with the body hair & boxers but I can't bet on it! I would have taken a picture with my cell but I was so shocked, I just froze and stared as I slowly drove by & I've lived and/or worked in NYC for a number of years so I've seen it all. All I could ask myself was WHAT THE FUCK!?!?!

Tuesday: I took the day off of work because I had a follow-up with my doctor & am still trying to wrap up my move. So I go to the doctor to get some MRI results from an auto accident & my back doctor tells me that, "Incidentally, we found a very large cyst on your ovary." (He doesn't look up or make eye contact the whole time and is seriously freaking me out.) His assistant is watching me as he rattles off, "Prominent & partially septated cyst, about 4 centimeters, right mid-pelvis, slightly complex, right adnexal cyst" Then he looks up and sees me with tears welling up and says, "Here it's about this big"- and proceeds to pick up an item off his desk saying that he'd guess that's about 4 cm but mine is round and blah, blah, blah. Do I have a doctor b/c I need to get this, that and the other done. So knowing me & that I am not outwardly emotional, he presses on and I tell him, "OK! I get it! I'll make an appointment!" Then he pulls out a ruler, picks the stupid thing he's comparing my cyst to and measures it!!!! Then he says, "Hey look! 4 cm! I was right!!!" Yeah you DOC! WHAT THE FUCK!?!?!? Sorry about all the details but I must paint the picture.... because that was pretty insensitive. The man is book smart but as far as common sense... nada! So I went to Home Depot after and bought a bunch of really awesome tools & lumber and went home and made a kick ass closet organizer. I LOVE POWER TOOLS!!!! I also go some other kick-ass gadgets. Nothing like a little retail therapy & sawing, drilling, etc. to feel better!!!

Wednesday: So J came to see me @ the office and take me to lunch. I had my first nooner! It was AWESOME! When we were done playing grab ass, we grabbed some Thai. It was very nice. I can't believe I've not done that before!!! So anyway back to my WTF stuff.... I was going to the place in the city that I am moving out of & see Jose my local homeless man. I barely recognized him. He's all cleaned up w/a new hair cut & clean clothes. If he didn't smile at me with that big toothless grin I wouldn't have recognized him at all!! Then he tried to shake my hand and it made me super uncomfortable because I don't want to make him feel bad but don't want any of the germs that go with wiping your ass in the streets. So I gave him a pat on the shoulder and then promptly washed my hands and sprayed Lysol on the door knob, keys, and anything I touched. I feel like a bitch but oh well. WTF?!?!?!

Today: I accidentally backed into a parked car trying to pull out of my parking spot this morning. The owner of the car was right there and the smell of weed pouring off her was beyond strong! So I apologized while she cursed at me and asked if she'd like to exchange information. She then threatened to pull me out of my car and kick my ass. She couldn't have been more than 5 ft tall in shoes! I'm thin but athletic & 5'10". So then she says to me, "Just go, bro!" Last time I checked I had tits! Bro? Seriously? Then she threatened me again so I told her I'd be happy to call the police and fill out a report for insurance purposes as long as she was OK with the stench of her pal Mary Jane emanating from her car. Again, her response was, "Just go, bro!!! Just go, bro!!" I just didn't get it so again I thought to myself, "WHAT THE FUCK????"

*****Special thanks to Eagle Eye for the post I read today over breakfast! You taught me something new (thank you) and kept me on my diet!!!*****************

Secrets

I'm so excited for this book. Part of starting my blog was because I had things to say & just can't journal. I don't trust anyone I know well enough with most secrets, thoughts, etc. and have had the displeasure of having a boyfriend go through my journal, write comments & on the next available page write, "If you still want to watch superbowl, call me." F-uuuuccckkkk Yyooouuu P! I should post your full name & address but I don't ever even want anyone to know that I dated you in the first place. So here are a few secrets from the site. I've skipped the more disturbing ones. Check it out for yourself... http://postsecret.blogspot.com/

Liquid Lunch Friday!

Fashion week is over and things are slowly getting back to normal. The backstage screams for Xanax, Valium, Percocet, etc. have quieted. My feet are finally forgiving me for all those stilettos. My moving boxes are stuffed with so many lovely pieces from other designers & my lovely girls there!! I love you girls! I need some new photos to post! This one is scanned but classic. Forgive my hair. That was a bad decision many liquid Fridays ago! We were all out just having a bit too much fun & I was given the option of licking the giant dessert spoon clean. The damn spoon was the size of my hand!! So me not being a girl to turn down the challenge, went for it. Well I'm oblivious to the guy with his wife & baby at the next table staring. Then I am told how his wife got mad, and he's trying to explain himself out of it and just digging his grave deeper. So to his wife- I'm sorry. I just gotta have fun & can be a bit sassy at times. A few more drinks and it'll be surfacing again! Last liquid post was on my to cheat or not post... so you see where my mind was at!

So going back to the city this weekend to hang at Sutton Place with my pals. I'll play on my swing & see what sort of sales will be around town. I want to pick up some new pieces for the new place..... Seriously the swing alone is just too much fun!! So I hope anyone who reads this has a great weekend!

Moving and the issues it causes...

Moving... Well I'm moving into a new home. Sold the Brownstone & decided to say goodbye to Jose! I've picked a cute Jersey Shore community that actually is nice and not at all scummy. So in the process of switching utilities & emailing friends with my new address etc. I sent one to a friend/ex-whatever... He's just tough to forget about & mind you I am trying to be monogomous so him calling today and saying, "Oh we should get together Sunday" just doesn't help things. I have some weaknesses when it comes to this man. Let's forget that he makes Tommy Lee look like Tiny Tim (bad example?) & just go with his sheer maleness that puts me in a trance.... like climbing into bed with me at 7 am smelling all manly like oil & this smell that you would have to know to understand. Or after paintballing and being multi-colored and just coming by to say hello. Or that he's just so f-ing hot in every way. He lets me help fix the quad and we end up doing bad things in the garage. He's just THAT GUY. Take away the sexual manly stuff and he's still amazing. This may sound gay but he'll wear a faded pink Lacoste shirt and still look hot because he just don't care. He's secure in his manhood. Is that just a big dick thing? Flash back to high school when I was the senior chick and he was my freshman friend... I still wanted it & he was jail bait. He's cool. He listens. No judgements. Nothing. Until we pulled the long distance thing and he met someone and totally fucked me over. But before that- I was his one that got away and he was never afraid to say so. Whatever... where was I? Oh Sunday. He'll be all muddy and manly and wanting to see me knowing full damn well that there will be the usual issues of weakness and we both are seeing people. So the question is...to cheat or not to cheat? I can't have him full time & if I did, I would NEVER trust him. If he'll cheat with me, he'll cheat on me. BUT... I just want a little time with him. I miss my best friend but he's my weakness too.... I don't want to screw around on J.... but I do want to see T. Oh well...nobody reads this so I will have no feedback & will most likely screw up. Here's to hoping I make the right decision.... if I knew what that was!!!