Can’t men & women just be friends? I admit that it’s rare that I’ve had a male friend and not even wondered what things would be like on a different level. A couple ex-boyfriends were friends first & sometimes I was able to go back to just being friends with one of them. I have one male friend who will NEVER be anything but a friend. He’s almost 19 years older than I am, a single dad, and just an all around nice person. We don’t discuss sexual experiences or anything explicit or flirt EVER. I don’t & just don’t want to think of him that way. I know he does his thing & he knows that I do mine. He now lives two doors down from me since I moved. I even considered passing on my property when I realized it was so close since I didn’t want him to feel like I was going to expect to hang out all the time.
I picked up a bunch of storage bins from Home Depot & gave some of the extras to my friend Bill. J got all pissed b/c when I stopped over, I made plans for the following evening to watch a movie with Bill and his son providing J didn’t have anything planned that would conflict.
When I told J, he said that he didn’t like it. He basically said that it wasn’t right & I shouldn’t go, and that anyone would agree with him. We’ve been fighting since Tuesday night as a result. I may have been a cheat, but I’ve passed up on it since I’ve been with J. I don’t think of my friend that way. I prefer to go over between 9 & 10 pm so I can say hi to the kids but still have a little “grown up” time when they go to bed at 10. ( i.e. Not having to be mindful of language while talking about my day)
J won’t admit that he’s jealous & insecure and I won’t give up a friend that has been there for me through thick and thin. I don’t even hang with the one I dated because that’s a potential danger. Yesterday was T’s birthday & I didn’t even drop by his party.
I’m feeling controlled, and like a possession. I feel that he’s gotten too comfortable being joined at my hip & if it’s not a trust issue, it’s the fact that he doesn’t have 100% of my attention. I’ve let him go everywhere with me & when I don’t, it’s a fight. This is my friend and I’m at the point where I just don’t feel as if he’s entitled to come along. Bill said that he’d like us to both come over after Thanksgiving craziness is over. For now, J just has to deal with me flying solo. I already feel as though I’m going to just start doing more on my own b/c he’s too (________)??? If Bill were a straight chick it’d be fine! (J also has an issue with me hanging with one of my sales reps b/c she is gay and she’s interested in me.) Apparently I just don’t have a say in who I’m interested in & if someone likes me then it’s on! I’ve been totally faithful & I don’t want to be with anyone else physically. When did I become his property? I know how it could appear but I’ve never been one to give a shit & neither has J so for him to say that feels like an excuse. If I am wrong, I just can’t see it.