The past few days have been filled with things that have made me say WTF out loud!
Monday: I'm driving to work & I see a man trying to get his minivan jump started. This is not so unusual except that he's running around in his boxer shorts. Picture a very pasty, hairy, and chubby Jesus-looking dude in seriously thin pale tan boxers. I think he was wearing work boots with the body hair & boxers but I can't bet on it! I would have taken a picture with my cell but I was so shocked, I just froze and stared as I slowly drove by & I've lived and/or worked in NYC for a number of years so I've seen it all. All I could ask myself was WHAT THE FUCK!?!?!
Tuesday: I took the day off of work because I had a follow-up with my doctor & am still trying to wrap up my move. So I go to the doctor to get some MRI results from an auto accident & my back doctor tells me that, "Incidentally, we found a very large cyst on your ovary." (He doesn't look up or make eye contact the whole time and is seriously freaking me out.) His assistant is watching me as he rattles off, "Prominent & partially septated cyst, about 4 centimeters, right mid-pelvis, slightly complex, right adnexal cyst" Then he looks up and sees me with tears welling up and says, "Here it's about this big"- and proceeds to pick up an item off his desk saying that he'd guess that's about 4 cm but mine is round and blah, blah, blah. Do I have a doctor b/c I need to get this, that and the other done. So knowing me & that I am not outwardly emotional, he presses on and I tell him, "OK! I get it! I'll make an appointment!" Then he pulls out a ruler, picks the stupid thing he's comparing my cyst to and measures it!!!! Then he says, "Hey look! 4 cm! I was right!!!" Yeah you DOC! WHAT THE FUCK!?!?!? Sorry about all the details but I must paint the picture.... because that was pretty insensitive. The man is book smart but as far as common sense... nada! So I went to Home Depot after and bought a bunch of really awesome tools & lumber and went home and made a kick ass closet organizer. I LOVE POWER TOOLS!!!! I also go some other kick-ass gadgets. Nothing like a little retail therapy & sawing, drilling, etc. to feel better!!!
Wednesday: So J came to see me @ the office and take me to lunch. I had my first nooner! It was AWESOME! When we were done playing grab ass, we grabbed some Thai. It was very nice. I can't believe I've not done that before!!! So anyway back to my WTF stuff.... I was going to the place in the city that I am moving out of & see Jose my local homeless man. I barely recognized him. He's all cleaned up w/a new hair cut & clean clothes. If he didn't smile at me with that big toothless grin I wouldn't have recognized him at all!! Then he tried to shake my hand and it made me super uncomfortable because I don't want to make him feel bad but don't want any of the germs that go with wiping your ass in the streets. So I gave him a pat on the shoulder and then promptly washed my hands and sprayed Lysol on the door knob, keys, and anything I touched. I feel like a bitch but oh well. WTF?!?!?!
Today: I accidentally backed into a parked car trying to pull out of my parking spot this morning. The owner of the car was right there and the smell of weed pouring off her was beyond strong! So I apologized while she cursed at me and asked if she'd like to exchange information. She then threatened to pull me out of my car and kick my ass. She couldn't have been more than 5 ft tall in shoes! I'm thin but athletic & 5'10". So then she says to me, "Just go, bro!" Last time I checked I had tits! Bro? Seriously? Then she threatened me again so I told her I'd be happy to call the police and fill out a report for insurance purposes as long as she was OK with the stench of her pal Mary Jane emanating from her car. Again, her response was, "Just go, bro!!! Just go, bro!!" I just didn't get it so again I thought to myself, "WHAT THE FUCK????"
*****Special thanks to Eagle Eye for the post I read today over breakfast! You taught me something new (thank you) and kept me on my diet!!!*****************