Cheating Already?

So disgusting... I was just in the elevator riding up with two male co-workers. They were openly discussing going out this weekend to get laid. The one saying he was going to do it was JUST married and is going on the honeymoon this upcoming week. Nothing like getting some pre honeymoon action with some bar skank. I met his wife once or twice when she was in getting her wedding gown and she's very pretty and was actually pretty cool considering he's a douche!
I'm the first person to have a slip-up but between the wedding & honeymoon and planning to f-around seems sleazy w/a great big helping of slime! Why get married? I get that marriages fall apart, as do relationships, but seriously this shocked me. I'm not easily shocked. I don't want to get married and cheat, I am not into the idea of cheating anymore. I can't say that I'll never ever in a million years do it again. I'm human and have weak moments etc. I don't hold anything against people NORMALLY, but this guy was openly bragging about it during the entire ride up and they were basically congratulating each other on keeping the player dream alive. It makes little sense. Why get married then? I remember when HE asked HER! He was so excited. Maybe it was all an act and he goes and sleeps with random women all the time but I'd hope that most people make an honest go of it when saying I DO! I'm not being judgemental b/c I've changed my ways. This would have disgusted me at any point of my sneaking around. I hope this isn't a common thing. I want to believe in marriage! It's bad enough that Santa, The Tooth Fairy, and Easter Bunny have been ruined for me! I don't want to believe that this is the new model of marriage!

Bah-freaking-Hum Bug!

Christmas crazies are out in full force this year! Is there any reason to weave in & out of traffic & do a full 4 lane- lane change to exit at 95mph?
Some of these people look like they want to shank you just to get to a retailer's door before you!
I've not even done any shopping for anyone else this year. Part of this is that each time I enter a store I find 20 things I love. The rest is just that I don't want to deal with psychos to buy people I don't like that much things they don't want and will then have to return. So I'm getting to the point that I may just go ahead and pick out pre paid credit cards. Kids like them b/c they feel older paying with them & teenagers seem to prefer to pick out their own stuff so that just leaves mom, close friends, and J..
On the bright side, I watched Christmas Vacation & can't wait for the marathon of Christmas Story! One of my all time favorite movie quotes is,
Clark in Christmas Vacation: "Where do you think you're going? Nobody's leaving. Nobody's walking out on this fun, old-fashioned family Christmas. No, no. We're all in this together. This is a full-blown, four-alarm holiday emergency here. We're gonna press on, and we're gonna have the hap, hap, happiest Christmas since Bing Crosby tap-danced with Danny fucking Kaye. And when Santa squeezes his fat white ass down that chimney tonight, he's gonna find the jolliest bunch of assholes this side of the nuthouse."

Ah, gets me every time!

Well seriously, I hope everyone except my miserable troll of a co-worker has a lovely Holiday & no hangover to speak of!

My Work Here is Done!

These are in no particular order. I liked some of the blurred ones so I added. They just had a cool vibe. I took a ton more but I need to review them with JC (my friend) and her fiance (the goofy looking guy! Just kidding... not really. They are very happy & she looked lovely & had lots of wardrobe changes but we had so much fun today. I'll be sad to go home (just a little) but I got to see my friends. They're all getting married & making babies! Eeek!

Me again...

The weather was beautiful & I actually decided to mess around with the timer & got two cool shots with Max. (The dog) These are my first attempts at getting on the other side of my lens.

It would have been even better if I didn't look like I was strangling Max! He's alive & well, no worries!
I looked goofy or just pissed but the yard & evergreens & even the pool cover gave me some cool backdrops. It was so unbelievably warm but then it rained & the air got a chill to it so we all bundled back up. My aunt went sleeveless throughout the whole thing (which is rare this time of year). We got to eat TG dinner outside though so that was great. These are the lucky photos where I don't look crappy & guess I'm pretty happy with how they look....they were fun! I love my Aunt's dog Max!

Count Down to Christmas...(aka Highway to Hell)

HAPPY THANKSGIVING ALL!

Tonight officially begins my countdown to Christmas. I'll be making a ton of cheesecakes & pies since I'm in charge of dessert this year. I decided to cheat a little and went to Starbucks to purchase a tray of cranberry bliss bars because they are so delicious. I'll be making dessert until the wee hours of the morning & since my mother conveniently twisted her ankle I've been stuck running all of her errands...because I don't have my own life or anything mom. Tis' the season my ass! I've got the sneaking suspicion that she's planning on having me prepare the pate since she asked me to go purchase the ingredients. A few TG's ago, she opted to have shoulder surgery before the holidays instead of after, against the doctor's recommendation, and I was up grinding the stuff until 2 am. Then my lovely aunt decided not to do her part & I got stuck with that too, since my mom had the ingredients. This created a perfect storm when my aunt showed up Thanksgiving morning all surly and hungover and I was still busy doing her appetizers. (You couldn't wait until TG day to get loaded?) She started criticizing my cooking and though I usually wouldn't care, she kept saying how it wasn't the way she does it & that it was wrong.... HELLO, then show up and do it yourself if you're so perfect. That's about when the steam starts coming out of my ears. I tried so hard to tune her out but she kinda sounds like Dino from the Flintstones which makes it tough.

Since I'm also the only one who usually shields her from my mom and her sisters when she is being obnoxious (which is all of the time) I started to take it personally. After a good hour of nagging, I lost it and the verbal smackdown ensued and she ended up leaving. I think the only reason I didn't get in trouble for being so disrespectful & awful was because everyone was happy to have the peace and quiet. Also because the incident happened before Grandma got there & most of my family didn't witness it. (They were so disappointed not to see Auntie Linda put in her place by the least likely family member) I called and apologized but she wouldn't come back over so I packed up a ton of food and drove my little sister over to deliver it. She was happy with that. So all was well. We aren't laughing about it yet but we're close again so it's OK now. I still want to poison her occasionally but I never would because I do love her & I know she means well & where would I dump her body? Then again, the list of suspects would be quite enormous!

Nah! She's family. If your family can't drive you crazy, who can?

Well hopefully you all have a very peaceful and wonderful Thanksgiving! Be safe if you're travelling and enjoy the time off of work! I'll be on my best behavior! If I'm not, you'll be the first to hear my side of the story!

When Harry Met Sally?

Can’t men & women just be friends? I admit that it’s rare that I’ve had a male friend and not even wondered what things would be like on a different level. A couple ex-boyfriends were friends first & sometimes I was able to go back to just being friends with one of them. I have one male friend who will NEVER be anything but a friend. He’s almost 19 years older than I am, a single dad, and just an all around nice person. We don’t discuss sexual experiences or anything explicit or flirt EVER. I don’t & just don’t want to think of him that way. I know he does his thing & he knows that I do mine. He now lives two doors down from me since I moved. I even considered passing on my property when I realized it was so close since I didn’t want him to feel like I was going to expect to hang out all the time.
I picked up a bunch of storage bins from Home Depot & gave some of the extras to my friend Bill. J got all pissed b/c when I stopped over, I made plans for the following evening to watch a movie with Bill and his son providing J didn’t have anything planned that would conflict.
When I told J, he said that he didn’t like it. He basically said that it wasn’t right & I shouldn’t go, and that anyone would agree with him. We’ve been fighting since Tuesday night as a result. I may have been a cheat, but I’ve passed up on it since I’ve been with J. I don’t think of my friend that way. I prefer to go over between 9 & 10 pm so I can say hi to the kids but still have a little “grown up” time when they go to bed at 10. ( i.e. Not having to be mindful of language while talking about my day)
J won’t admit that he’s jealous & insecure and I won’t give up a friend that has been there for me through thick and thin. I don’t even hang with the one I dated because that’s a potential danger. Yesterday was T’s birthday & I didn’t even drop by his party.
I’m feeling controlled, and like a possession. I feel that he’s gotten too comfortable being joined at my hip & if it’s not a trust issue, it’s the fact that he doesn’t have 100% of my attention. I’ve let him go everywhere with me & when I don’t, it’s a fight. This is my friend and I’m at the point where I just don’t feel as if he’s entitled to come along. Bill said that he’d like us to both come over after Thanksgiving craziness is over. For now, J just has to deal with me flying solo. I already feel as though I’m going to just start doing more on my own b/c he’s too (________)??? If Bill were a straight chick it’d be fine! (J also has an issue with me hanging with one of my sales reps b/c she is gay and she’s interested in me.) Apparently I just don’t have a say in who I’m interested in & if someone likes me then it’s on! I’ve been totally faithful & I don’t want to be with anyone else physically. When did I become his property? I know how it could appear but I’ve never been one to give a shit & neither has J so for him to say that feels like an excuse. If I am wrong, I just can’t see it.

NYC Weekend

I had so much fun with my best friend and her two boys. She gave me permission to post photos that I took with them all around town! The NYC marathon tried to stop us but we managed to do a bunch of tourist things and still have a s-load of fun! Lady Liberty said What'up! We were Moonstruck & Wicked! The place was like a Zoo...It was such Bull!

There's Something About Magda...

Oh so gross. I went on vacation a few years ago & while we were at the beach in Aruba, one of the men in the group kept getting followed by a woman that looked this way. I love the sunshine & have gone tanning but I also love my skin & the fact that it is not trying to escape from my body. SPF is easy to use...

So anyway I'll be going to St. Barts for a long weekend in Feb. & it reminded me of the Aruba thing. This woman must have lived on the sun for a long time & was very bony and making grunting sounds while following my friend's husband around. I'll have to see if I can get some photos & if he's cool with it being on here. The photos are all of her back so you can see the horror on his face building with each shot! That was some funny shit!

So I just got the photos from the house I rented & it rocks! I've put them up as well to try to keep the other image from burning into your mind's eye! I love it!!!!

Halloween

So what are you dressing up as this year? I didn't have time to make a costume, though I think dressing as Lorena Bobbitt would send a certain message to the someone "special"....just kidding. I liked this photo I saw today. Great costume! I love Rene Magritte.
Previous years I've been: A tree with a witch crashed into it w/a don't drink & fly sign. A bag of groceries. A Firestone tire with my head sticking out of the blowout (during that recall), Dr. Evil & used my little sister as mini me. The floor of a movie theatre, a flower in a pot- I even stuck a fuzzy bee on my cheek! Last year I did a vampire because it was easy & I ordered the Lestat contacts. I just wanted an excuse to wear a spiked collar to work!!!! Plus the fangs I had were great..... So give me your all time favorites- even if it's only been someone you saw dressed up! I saw a great costume one year in the village parade. This guy was walking around in a clear casing with balloons inside. He was a lava lamp! Pretty cool....

Serious Head Injuries Prompt Recall of Bumbo Baby Sitter Seats

New Warnings and Instructions to Be Provided To Consumers

This just explains so much about me. Who knew that falling on your head a bunch as a baby is bad for you? Probably my mom but she was most likely on the phone gossiping or smoking weed in the bathroom! I turned out just fine and I flipped my walker, climbed and fell out of my play pen, fell of the bunk bed, and there was an incident with my aunt, who is only 4 yrs. older than I am, that I still don't trust. Cause' I just sprung up out of my stroller and took a leap at 14 months old. Yeah, OK Aunt Sharyn. So besides the fact that I can never pull a Britney and shave my head, I still feel tat iM jus fineeeeeee!

If you're interested in the recall here you go:

http://www.cpsc.gov/cpscpub/prerel/prhtml08/08046.html

What spreads faster than Paris Hilton's herpes?

No, not her legs (though it may be a close match!)

Seriously, I might be a Yankee bitch but I hope all of you in SoCal and those of you who have family there are doing well in spite of the wildfires. Contrary to popular belief, I don't believe that New York and the surrounding areas are the center of the Universe.

I was speaking to my co-workers about some fabric that was given to me this morning and a temp came up & asked me if I can believe how lucky I am. I said, "For free fabric?!?!?" He said, "No, that we aren't suffering the wildfire or flooding like Cali & New Orleans!" I then told him to pack up his shit and get out...just kidding... we all shared the sentiment & astonishment over the fact that the Santa Ana winds are gusting at 100 mph (according to our local news). I do hope that the winds let up so that the firefighters can kick some wildfire ass! Hang in there everyone! I'm thinking of you & will be following the news....

Sapa Vietnam Church & Ben

This is one of my faves. I took this in 1999 and always have a print hanging in my home & office. The scan is crap but I'm so in love with the photo. There's some that I took that were just amazing & I was still learning then so I had many happy accidents (What up Bob Ross!) I just love the clouds coming down onto the mountains and the rickety foot bridge.

There's some shots of lotus blossoms that I got that are almost surreal. Then I got one of these children shaking the outer shells of of rice grains and the dust coming off of the baskets they used. I just love it. I actually took one of the Brooklyn bridge when we were out on the water and it has been raining that day so there was a ton of condensation and fog obscuring the towers. I developed the film a week or two after 9/11 & it was eerie. I've never shared my work with people because I get shy. If it's for work, they take my cards and I don't have much say in what goes up so it's out of my hands. If it were up to me, they'd get so little that I'd be out of a job. I took some photos inside of Big Ben on a freelance assignment for my friend's company. I'll include that since it's available to me right now.

What a Week...

So the strangeness continues but
luckily didn't go too far!
This is a bit "em-bare-ass-ing" but
oh well! I woke up at 5-ish this
morning to J attempting to put
something of his where it just didn't belong.... HELLO!!! I'm up! He was sound asleep. I'm not sure whet led to it but I think we may not be sleeping naked after taking Ambien for a bit! Hell if that's not the icing on the cake that has been this week, I don't know what is!!! So TGIFF!! The move should be official this weekend & J- if you do that again I have a few power tools with your name on them baby! So hopefully it doesn't come to that because I was hoping to get all my stuff moved & maybe have time to get unpacked enough to bring my kitty to the new place by Sunday evening! I hope that everyone has a great weekend & that my week of WTF is nearly over!

WHAT THE FUCK?!?!?!?!?!

The past few days have been filled with things that have made me say WTF out loud!

Monday: I'm driving to work & I see a man trying to get his minivan jump started. This is not so unusual except that he's running around in his boxer shorts. Picture a very pasty, hairy, and chubby Jesus-looking dude in seriously thin pale tan boxers. I think he was wearing work boots with the body hair & boxers but I can't bet on it! I would have taken a picture with my cell but I was so shocked, I just froze and stared as I slowly drove by & I've lived and/or worked in NYC for a number of years so I've seen it all. All I could ask myself was WHAT THE FUCK!?!?!

Tuesday: I took the day off of work because I had a follow-up with my doctor & am still trying to wrap up my move. So I go to the doctor to get some MRI results from an auto accident & my back doctor tells me that, "Incidentally, we found a very large cyst on your ovary." (He doesn't look up or make eye contact the whole time and is seriously freaking me out.) His assistant is watching me as he rattles off, "Prominent & partially septated cyst, about 4 centimeters, right mid-pelvis, slightly complex, right adnexal cyst" Then he looks up and sees me with tears welling up and says, "Here it's about this big"- and proceeds to pick up an item off his desk saying that he'd guess that's about 4 cm but mine is round and blah, blah, blah. Do I have a doctor b/c I need to get this, that and the other done. So knowing me & that I am not outwardly emotional, he presses on and I tell him, "OK! I get it! I'll make an appointment!" Then he pulls out a ruler, picks the stupid thing he's comparing my cyst to and measures it!!!! Then he says, "Hey look! 4 cm! I was right!!!" Yeah you DOC! WHAT THE FUCK!?!?!? Sorry about all the details but I must paint the picture.... because that was pretty insensitive. The man is book smart but as far as common sense... nada! So I went to Home Depot after and bought a bunch of really awesome tools & lumber and went home and made a kick ass closet organizer. I LOVE POWER TOOLS!!!! I also go some other kick-ass gadgets. Nothing like a little retail therapy & sawing, drilling, etc. to feel better!!!

Wednesday: So J came to see me @ the office and take me to lunch. I had my first nooner! It was AWESOME! When we were done playing grab ass, we grabbed some Thai. It was very nice. I can't believe I've not done that before!!! So anyway back to my WTF stuff.... I was going to the place in the city that I am moving out of & see Jose my local homeless man. I barely recognized him. He's all cleaned up w/a new hair cut & clean clothes. If he didn't smile at me with that big toothless grin I wouldn't have recognized him at all!! Then he tried to shake my hand and it made me super uncomfortable because I don't want to make him feel bad but don't want any of the germs that go with wiping your ass in the streets. So I gave him a pat on the shoulder and then promptly washed my hands and sprayed Lysol on the door knob, keys, and anything I touched. I feel like a bitch but oh well. WTF?!?!?!

Today: I accidentally backed into a parked car trying to pull out of my parking spot this morning. The owner of the car was right there and the smell of weed pouring off her was beyond strong! So I apologized while she cursed at me and asked if she'd like to exchange information. She then threatened to pull me out of my car and kick my ass. She couldn't have been more than 5 ft tall in shoes! I'm thin but athletic & 5'10". So then she says to me, "Just go, bro!" Last time I checked I had tits! Bro? Seriously? Then she threatened me again so I told her I'd be happy to call the police and fill out a report for insurance purposes as long as she was OK with the stench of her pal Mary Jane emanating from her car. Again, her response was, "Just go, bro!!! Just go, bro!!" I just didn't get it so again I thought to myself, "WHAT THE FUCK????"

*****Special thanks to Eagle Eye for the post I read today over breakfast! You taught me something new (thank you) and kept me on my diet!!!*****************

Secrets

I'm so excited for this book. Part of starting my blog was because I had things to say & just can't journal. I don't trust anyone I know well enough with most secrets, thoughts, etc. and have had the displeasure of having a boyfriend go through my journal, write comments & on the next available page write, "If you still want to watch superbowl, call me." F-uuuuccckkkk Yyooouuu P! I should post your full name & address but I don't ever even want anyone to know that I dated you in the first place. So here are a few secrets from the site. I've skipped the more disturbing ones. Check it out for yourself... http://postsecret.blogspot.com/

Liquid Lunch Friday!

Fashion week is over and things are slowly getting back to normal. The backstage screams for Xanax, Valium, Percocet, etc. have quieted. My feet are finally forgiving me for all those stilettos. My moving boxes are stuffed with so many lovely pieces from other designers & my lovely girls there!! I love you girls! I need some new photos to post! This one is scanned but classic. Forgive my hair. That was a bad decision many liquid Fridays ago! We were all out just having a bit too much fun & I was given the option of licking the giant dessert spoon clean. The damn spoon was the size of my hand!! So me not being a girl to turn down the challenge, went for it. Well I'm oblivious to the guy with his wife & baby at the next table staring. Then I am told how his wife got mad, and he's trying to explain himself out of it and just digging his grave deeper. So to his wife- I'm sorry. I just gotta have fun & can be a bit sassy at times. A few more drinks and it'll be surfacing again! Last liquid post was on my to cheat or not post... so you see where my mind was at!

So going back to the city this weekend to hang at Sutton Place with my pals. I'll play on my swing & see what sort of sales will be around town. I want to pick up some new pieces for the new place..... Seriously the swing alone is just too much fun!! So I hope anyone who reads this has a great weekend!